Editor’s note: This is the first-ever guest post on jotho.me, brought to you by Evan Hatter, hailing from Frankfort, Kentucky. He is a high-school sophomore and plans to major in meteorology after graduating. Feel free to follow him on Twitter at @ehatt493 or email him at evan@jotho.me. Welcome, Evan!

Did you know that the openly gay Ellen DeGeneres being in a JCPenney commercial is just what the Mayans predicted would end the world in 3 weeks? That pretty much sums up the reaction from the notably anti-gay One Million Moms—more like “Forty-Thousand Disgruntled Southern Women Late For Church.”

One Million Moms, a wing of the American Family Association, a known anti-gay hate group as described by the Southern Poverty Law Center, said this about the company’s decision to feature Ellen in their commercial:

JCP has made their choice to offend a huge majority of their customers again. Christians must now vote with their wallets.

Oh my. What will we do? I’ll tell you what my mother and aunt, who are Christians, will do. They’ll go and buy the clothes and shoes and whatever else they buy there. Because to most people, it doesn’t matter! Most of my immediate family and most of America doesn’t care if she or anyone else is gay. The only people who care are people who are socially stuck in the 1950s, when a gay person had to hide who they were if they didn’t want to be censured from society.

One Million Moms is also very good at patting themselves on the back for things they had very little or nothing to do with. They credit themselves with starting an advertiser boycott on the now-cancelled ABC show 666 Park Avenue to get said show cancelled. The crappy program was cancelled by ABC on November 16, and here is what OMM had to say about it:

This is a HUGE Victory! The ABC series “666 Park Avenue,” which is known for its controversial title and satanic content, will not be renewed. Glory to God! The network will air all 13 episodes, but the demonic series will not return next season. Praise the Lord! God is using One Million Moms to help remove this filth from television. As the hands and feet for the Lord, we are making a real difference.

I have two responses for this. First, advertiser backlash to “satanic content” didn’t exist. This show got canceled because it was a terrible show, and nobody wanted to watch it. On October 28, the show pulled in 4.61 million viewers. The next week, they lost 540,000 viewers and dropped to 4.07 million. The show before its cancellation, November 11, had the viewer rating drop again. This time to 3.9 million.

If this was a news show on, say CNN or MSNBC, 3.9 million would be fantastic! But sadly, this is primetime television on a major broadcast network. For a Big Four network, 3.9 is abysmal. Especially compared to its competition. 666 Park Avenue was going up against NBC’s broadcast of Sunday Night Football, pulling in 20 million viewers. Its first half hour was up against the second half-hour of CBS’s The Good Wife, pulling in 9 million viewers, and its second half hour was going up against CBS’s The Mentalist, bringing in 7 million viewers. These ratings are from December 4, when The Mentalist was showing a repeat. Again, not backlash—tough competition and a terrible plot.

Second, it really irks me when people say God is using them to accomplish his goals. Christians are the ones saying that God is all-powerful. If he’s all-powerful, why does he need to go through a bunch of neo-church-ladies to get things done? And since when does God care about what’s on TV? You would think God Almighty would have more things to worry about than some “satanic” show on American TV. Which, by the way, couldn’t have been too satanic. Broadcast TV censors would never let that kind of thing through.

These are the same people, mind you, who are afraid of “creeping Islam and secularism.” Here’s a reminder: freedom of religion applies to all religions as well as the lack thereof, not just Christianity.

…and no, America was not founded on Christianity.